A Queensland President in Verse

BY Hearsay

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CAIRNS APPEAL, 2009

(with apologies to A B “Banjo” Paterson’s A Bush Christening)

In Far North Queensland where the judges are few,
And law PHDs thought exquisite,
At a most modest cost, to help self-reps who have lost,
The Court of Appeal comes to visit.

For sittings number five, the Court chose to arrive,
In the week of Queensland’s sesquicentennial.
New South Wales got the rest, but we took the best.
Sydney’s fine; but FNQ’s far more genial.

‘Tis a week of the year when a great deal of beer,
Is consumed by banana benders.
State of Origin league beats judicial fatigue,
As the Maroons seared the Blues into cinders.

Cullinane from Townsville felt just a tad ill,
From a three hour law student lecture.
But once our Maroons all but broke the Blues’ bones,
He was instantly able to hector!

Paddy Keane, he’s so smart; some say he’s apart
From we mere mortals around him.
But when Queensland beats those New South Welsh feats,
A warm happy glow it surrounds him.

Young Hugh Fras-er, he’s a true connoisseur,
Of art of Indigenous persuasion.
Great modern style always brings on a smile.
But give careless submissions — you’re Cajun!

Now Justice Stan Jones, about this there’s no bones,
His kindness to all is well-known.
E’en so, he’ll be pleased, p’raps even relieved,
When the Court of Appeal finally goes home.

But we won’t go away ’til Woolridge has her say,
And Connolly, Johnson and Cowan.
You can’t stop Devereaux; we’ve heard lots, too, from Trevino,
And Henry keeps scrapin’ and bowin’!

Judges Everson and Bradley and the magistrates gladly
Treat us with care and deference.
But we took over two floors and clogged courtroom doors
So we know its not their real preference.

But the Court of Appeal; it has orders to seal,
And cases for de-termination.
Macdonnells wants one thing! Miller Harris says “Go sing”!
And the judges just maintain inhalation.

And then there’s swine flu; which in Cairns seems not new,
We think we’ll be lucky to ‘scape it.
‘Spite jogging The Esplanade, and walking Red Arrow hard.
Still, we try Far North Queensland to shape it.

The weather here’s warm when chills are the norm
In Brizzy in June — rain and wind.
Cairns’ restaurants are great; they keep us up late,
At Hanuman, C’est Bon, Tamarind.

Sesquicentennials come each one fifty years in sum.
State of Origin is thrice each year.
In Cairns every two years the appeal court appears,
To keep the profession in gear!

Great judges or no; in FNQ we’re no show,
Against Slater or Johnson or Thaiday.
The Prez, Fraser and Keane; each but a has-been!
No wonder we’re going home Friday!